How to avoid jealousy and sibling rivalry

Many times the sibling rivalry is triggered by the behavior of parents who, without realizing it, can pay more attention to one child than the other

The rivalry between brothers seems of little importance . However, it is not so much when its duration can cause depression and low self-esteem in the near future.

Because ... Who wants to get along with his brother?

Angers, quarrels and arguments are completely normal, especially when there is little difference in age between them. Despite this, it is our duty to be vigilant.

When we talk about jealousy, we are referring to a feeling that may end up degenerating into envy. Also, the rivalry between brothers will lead to terrible competition.

To avoid this, we need to put into practice a series of resources that we have at hand. As parents, it is imperative that we finish as soon as possible with such a situation.

No comparisons

Although you do not want to recognize it, because you may not see it, sometimes we make comparisons between our children. Only to praise the qualities of one and ignore those of the other can already be a preliminary to start the rivalry.

Remember that this is born of a fear of losing the attention of parents , to become the "despised", "the least worthy" child.

In addition, jealousy arises, above all, from the older brother. He has had to share the attention that his parents used to send him. Moreover, he had to observe how many mimes, care and care his brother received when he was a baby.

Although we believe that children do not find out about anything, a simple "little brother gets better studies" or "is more sociable" can unleash a fight.

Be careful with your non-verbal communication

You probably think that your words are measured, that you have never verbally uttered anything that could give rise to a rivalry between brothers. However, you should not forget that your nonverbal communication says more than you think.

Up to 70% of what we communicate is non-verbal . Our gestures, our tone of voice, how we move ... So check if what you express with words corresponds to what you think.

We can not cheat our gestures. Maybe those differences you make with a brother are manifested in a slight glance, a touch on the shoulder, a tender hug ...

With this, a child will know if it is "the favorite" or not. Something that should never happen. Parents would never have to feel more predilection for one child than for the other.

Sometimes it happens, without realizing it and without wanting it. So it is necessary that we do a little self-criticism and recognize if, in truth, this is the problem.

Rules are very important to avoid sibling rivalry.

Establishing rules at home is important and all members have to respect and comply with them . Therefore, it will be very positive that, for example, there are some of the following:

• Personal and shared toys: Sometimes conflicts arise because the other brother's belongings have been borrowed without asking permission. With the rules you will teach them the great value of sharing and asking for permission.
• Respect the other person's personal space: This will allow everyone to have their own private area and help them to know, also, respect the space of other people, not just their brother.

In addition to all this, it is important that we never recriminate a fight or an attack of jealousy by one of our children.

Doing so alone will increase your anxiety, so it would be very positive if we talked to him and calmed him down, while reflecting on how our performance has not been the most appropriate.

But, above all, we must be  careful to leave some of the children in the background .

We do not realize that with phrases like "I can not, I'm helping your brother" or "Can not you see I'm busy?" We can unleash a strong rivalry between brothers.

To replace this, we can use "now I can not, give me a few minutes" or "wait now I am with you". It seems the same, but it changes completely. The way to say it has a lot to do.

Just do not forget what your body communicates . If you are thinking something else, it will give you away and your child will notice.